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| Is there life after divorce? https://www.dirtdoctor.com/efl/dirtDoctor/is-there-life-after-divorce-t4839.html |
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| Author: | CaptainCompostAL [ Wed Aug 25, 2004 9:40 am ] |
| Post subject: | Is there life after divorce? |
Hello all my fellow organic gardener friends! I was debating whether to share this with the world or not. I feel like you guys understand me better than a lot of folks here in my family and my home town. So here goes: After 20 years of marriage (and the last 10 years being a living hell) I'm going through a divorce settlement. She filed the divorce on Father's day week (what a great Father's day present). She says I'm a terrible father, lover, husband, and grand father, and she says I'm an evil hypocritical preacher and Christian. I have 3 children and one grand daughter. Girl, boy, girl, girl. Their ages are 18, 16, and 13, and the grand baby is 6 months old. My kids still love me inspite of my ex-wife's constant nagging and back biting. I just helped my oldest daughter move into her first dorm room as a freshman in nursing sciences at University of Birmingham of Alabama (UAB) a few weeks ago. My ex-wife is taking care of the baby. My ex-wife has stopped over the past two years supporting me in my church ministry and my gardening business. She doesn't go to church any more. She cusses and fusses all the time in front of the kids and my friends. She has always hated my composting and gardening classes. She even let my tomato and melon beds ruin and die on the vines after she put me out of my house back in June. I've been living with my god-mother in Birmingham for 2 months now. I'm moving my composting business back to Birminmham from the 3 acre farm in Lincoln, AL. My composting/gardening customers and friends are supporting me in helping me get my business moved. Hopefully after this divorce settlement is over, I can start back to writing my first organic gardening books. I'm just now able to talk about this to my friends. I'm starting to get peace and quiet again. Even my blood and chlorestrol tests have improved in the back two month from my latest doctor's examination. Next year, I believe I'm going to have to sell my 3 acre farm. That hurts big time! I'll have to start another rich no-till organic demonstration farm for myself and my customers. I'm even going to have to start my church ministry over again too with my new life. I believe that my Lord is going to help me through all this c***. I just want to do God's will in my ministry and help teach folks about the amazing world of sustainabble farming. I don't like mess and negative minded people. They vex me. I just want to be a blessing to the world. I don't really want to hurt anybody. Thanks for listening and pray for me and my kids! Happy Gardening everybody! |
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| Author: | Tricky Grama [ Wed Aug 25, 2004 3:23 pm ] |
| Post subject: | moving compost |
Dear Cap'n While many of us have 'been there' we still don't walk in YOUR shoes. I wish you the very best, you have my thoughts and prayers. When it comes down to it-I WISH YOU ENOUGH! I hate to say 'hang in there' but you have to! We're counting on you! I for one looked you up as soon as I signed up on this website and LOVED your H'ween costume, all your insight & advice, so you have to keep your chin up & keep up all your work. Forgive your EX, you will be liberated by doing so. (This doesn't mean you have to FORGET!) I bet you will have a following immediately if you start up a new ministry-you are a very spiritual person. Everyone who reads your posts will feel for you during this time whether they know what to say to you or not. Believe. Patty |
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| Author: | CaptainCompostAL [ Wed Aug 25, 2004 3:47 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
God bless you and thank you so much! |
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| Author: | GlennT [ Wed Aug 25, 2004 4:22 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Is there life after divorce? |
I was in a very similar situation about twelve years ago. It was very difficult to start over but worth every minute! One of the hardest things for me to do was not let hatred or spite take over my life. I finally realized that the only thing that would result from my dwelling on that type of thought would be hurtful to me mentally and physically. Let her go and try to live your life with your children the best you can. If you're in an unhappy marriage that's not mutually supportive and loving you are better off living under a bridge like the troll in billygoat gruff! Keep your faith and enjoy your life. All will be OK. You are in our prayers. |
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| Author: | Tony M* [ Wed Aug 25, 2004 9:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Divorce |
Good Captain, sorry to hear about your situation. I know you don't want to be there and I'm sure you are in pain. I'm not a spiritual man but I know you are and have a higher authority to help you with your question. I can only hope the answer comes quick. Try to maintain all the other relationships and activities you had. If a tree has only one root and it gets severed, it dies. If however, the tree has many roots and loses one it will live on. I wish you the best, Tony M |
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| Author: | CaptainCompostAL [ Thu Aug 26, 2004 7:14 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks everybody! |
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| Author: | Gar [ Thu Aug 26, 2004 7:37 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Captain, Sorry to hear about that. If there is anything we can do to help, please let us know. I feel bad that you will have to give up your farm after all you have done to get it into the shape it is today. Who ever takes it over, I hope they will continue in the organic way. Hang in there and hopefully everything will work out for the best. You are in our thoughts and prayers. |
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| Author: | CaptainCompostAL [ Wed Sep 01, 2004 12:50 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks everybody! I really appreciate all your kind words and support. Things are getting better for me. I'm preparing my new fall/winter garden on my new temporary location. I'm going from a 3 acre rural no-till farm to a 1/2 acre suburban style demonstration no-till garden. I just moved 5 tons of my newly made compost from my own farm locatrion to the new site. I'm getting ready for my fall compost customers too. I plan on growing various crop crops plus red cabbage, red kale, red mustard, broccoli, and collards this fall and winter. (This helps keep me from thinking about my troubles and any negative thoughts about my life!) Happy Gardening everybody! |
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| Author: | Tricky Grama [ Wed Sep 01, 2004 4:03 pm ] |
| Post subject: | life |
Dear Cap'n Hey-I knew you'd hang in there! that new place sounds like it will soon be beautiful! Wish we all lived closer. Patty |
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| Author: | Gar [ Wed Sep 01, 2004 7:43 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I second Patty. I would love to come and spend a day, or week with you and learn so much from all your experiences. Hang in there. It has to get better. Man, I bet it took quite a while to move that 5 ton of compost. You will have to post some pics of your new place so we can see the before organics and the after organics. |
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| Author: | Kathe Kitchens [ Thu Sep 02, 2004 10:23 am ] |
| Post subject: | Green therapy |
Bravo, Captain! You are right! "Green therapy" as I call it, restores the soul and brings one back in tune with the wonders of this world, the gifts from God. There is nothing that will re-center me like a day working in the garden! I just noticed my cabbage stumps are growing back with the occasional cooler weather we are having. Soon I'll have my own again, as I did all last winter. Sounds like you'll have a great fall garden! We'll look forward to your posts as you rebuild. Blessings! Kathe |
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| Author: | CaptainCompostAL [ Fri Sep 03, 2004 3:53 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks everybody! I appreciate all the love, support, and kind words. |
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| Author: | JimBleck [ Fri Sep 10, 2004 11:34 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Yes, there is life after divorce and it can be better than the life you were living. Look forward to your new life and try not to let the hurt and anger be a part of your new life. I speak from experience I wish I didn't have. My thoughts are with you. |
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| Author: | JimBleck [ Fri Sep 10, 2004 11:35 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Yes, there is life after divorce and it can be better than the life you were living. Look forward to your new life and try not to let the hurt and anger be a part of your new life. I speak from experience I wish I didn't have. My thoughts are with you. |
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| Author: | lplott [ Wed Nov 10, 2004 7:13 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
My gracious, I just signed in after being off the board for quite some time and looked you and your posts up first thing. I am so sorry for your problems. Some women are just not into the 'compost' stuff, life for people these days can be just to materialistic. I, for one, love to be as natural as I can with my gardening and food and you have really given me lots of good information about compost tea and such as that. I used that last season and had a bounty of everything, especially the little benficial critters. You just never know where life will lead you, but I do know if you are listening to God, he will protect you. I have found, in my lessons of life, that as soon as I am able to just 'give up' as I call it, the God steps in and makes things better and I find myself wondering, why didn't I just do that in the first place. Its hard for the flesh to give up and let God take over. I wish you the very best, and I will say an extra prayer for you tonight. You are a good person and many of us here on this board depend on you a lot. have a nice afternoon and hang in there. ladonna |
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